2 Months In

Yesterday was the two month mark for my treatments. Hard to believe I am at this point already. It just seems like it was not too long ago that I started and now I am at the half way mark with treatment #4 coming on Tuesday. Here is what I have to report on how I am doing at the halfway mark.

I am doing relatively well considering. The side effects seem to be minor and still very manageable but are increasing slightly with each treatment. The biggest noticeable effects are the loss of hair but not everywhere. If you can draw a line across my face from the middle of each ear to the edges of my mouth (picture the Joker from The Dark Knight movie), you would see that hair north of this border is fading fast, while south of the border is still growing strong. Unlike Trump, I would like to remove this wall and let the migrants come up from the South! The hair on my head is still growing but is patchy. I have eyebrows but they are very thin. Though I have not looked, I suspect that my nose hair is gone too as my allergies are causing my nose to run more frequently. I still have facial hair growing but only on the south side so I cannot grow a respectable beard. And, of course, back and chest hair is still there, dammit!

One symptom I do have which I really do not like is the numbness in my finger tips. The chemo is reducing the feeling in these areas so that they are numb and tingly, like if they are asleep. My Besty says that this is common and that the feeling should come back once the treatments are done but that could take up to a year. The good news is that none of these symptoms have stopped me from playing hockey and baseball, nor jamming with the band and making dinner every night. I am limited with what I can do just merely by the fact that my energy levels are lower now. I am pushing my body to do as much as possible so that I am not missing out on life and not allowing the negative thoughts in. It is still difficult to sit still when my energy levels are low as the guilt sets in knowing all that could/should be done around the house.

One of the hardest questions to answer that I get frequently is “How are you?”. It is hard to answer as I know that it is a loaded question. It is not the pleasant “How are you? I’m fine.” type of question but is more like the “How are you, really?” type of question. As such, I know that, in most cases, I cannot simply answer it with the usual “I’m fine” response. But, at the same time, I am not sure if all the details of all that I am going through are necessary either. Also, I don’t always know if they know I have cancer and, if they do, if they are up to date with the blog posts. So, I end up responding with a line like “I am doing well considering.” and seeing where the conversation goes from there. Who knew how such an innocent question could provoke so much emotion and uncertainty.

As mentioned in my previous post, it was a relaxing week. The oncologist appt. this week had a very long wait followed by a short visit with my Besty. We waited 3h for a 10 min. visit. These visits are pretty routine. I complain about what has been bugging me since the last visit and he dismisses them as common side effects of prescribed drugs. There is not much more to discuss as there are no new results showing how I am progressing at the moment.

Thursday, I did meet up with my work colleagues who I had not seen in a little while. It was great to see them again and hear how they missed me as I have missed them. Then, I played hockey on Thursday night where I scored two goals. I had a few good chances at the hat trick but was stopped by a good goalie. The kids had a girl guide camp this past weekend so MA and I were home alone with Shelly. We did not spend a lot of time together though. I had band practice on Friday night while MA had something on Sunday afternoon. We did spend Saturday together trying to do Doors Open Ottawa. This is an annual event where buildings/businesses open their doors to the public and let people tour. We had five places on our list but we did not read the website correctly so 3 were Doors Closed on Saturday. The two remaining were our least favorite ones on the list so that was a big bust. But we did get to spent that time together so that was a bonus.

This week will be all about the chemo, which is on Tuesday. I have already given blood and renewed my prescriptions for it. Not looking forward to the aftermath of it though. I am playing hockey tomorrow morning and, if I am feeling well enough, will try to make it to my ball game that evening. I will let you know how that goes in my next post and, with that, that’s all for now. Talk to you next time.